Tststrngrl's Journals

no one's safe.

people these days are recording their lives and living the reruns. pretty sad, actually. life doesn't come with a 'pause' button.

Think patterns

every now and then, i lose it. i fall apart. i take myself apart. tare myself into tiny little pieces. deconstruct myself, so i don't forget what i am (made of). so i don't forget i am nothing. made of (hot) air, smokes and mirrors. littles pieces of nothingness, that don't even go with each other. hence the duality. henceÂ theÂ indecision.Â henceÂ theÂ fallingÂ apart.Â andÂ theÂ takingÂ apart.Â andÂ theÂ rebuilding.Â againÂ andÂ again.Â untilÂ itÂ
allÂ makesÂ sense.Â untilÂ iÂ makeÂ senseÂ again.

trading fever for pneumonia. will work for now.

I might have lost my mind but I have found my soul.

I just want a place for my head. And mind.
A place where it all makes sense.
A place where I am not alone in my mind. Where you are.
But that's like sentencing myself to death. By crucifixion.
I am you, whether I like it or not. Ignore it, but it won't go away.
I sometimes wish I made sense.Â Or that at least other people would not make sense, in the same way as me.

I should probably label this 'utopia'.

Getting a grip

Being nice to the people you're indifferent to doesn't make you nice, but effective.
I'm so sick of myself.
Not telling lies out of fear of getting caught doesn't make you honest, but coward.
Not telling lies out of fear of complications doesn't make you honest, but lazy.
I'm so sick of them.

~~Other than that, my new skirt looks old. Or is that vintage.~~
I.need.a.break

Take care. Smile :)

lofty ideals

actually,Â iÂ preferÂ theÂ termÂ 'research',Â butÂ 'consciouslyÂ brainwashingÂ myself'Â worksÂ justÂ asÂ well